Bentleague X: The Sequel
Draft Recap
Not for the faint of heart…back by popular demand…here is
the St. Bernard Swami’s recap of the Bentleague X Draft. First things first, this is an unbiased take
on the captain’s picks and how the teams fared out on draft night. As the ombudsman of Bentleague you can count
on an unbiased evaluation of each team from top to bottom. Congrats to the Commish for finally getting
rid of the cockamamie scoring system that favored top picks more than late
round selections. This is an inclusive
league for all PAC members, and a win by Rockin Toupsie or Josh (Mr. Irrelevant)
should be just as much as a win by Russ “Don’t call me Russell” Anderson. Wait…did Josh win any Bentleague matches last
year? I digress…on to the team draft grades.
Drafting in the number one position was Hairy Hal
Neitzschman aka. Spin Doctors II. No
surprise here with Russ going first overall.
Clear #1 by everyone, not named Ed.
Can Mr. Anderson rebound from .500 season a year ago solidify Spin
Doctors II all season. Swami sees the
competition catching up with skinny legs Anderson and last year’s record backs
up that claim. All about pairings, so
let’s see how the Hairy Doctor did to supplement his number one. Going into the draft, money line had Spin
Doctor’s primed for a repeat championship having the one, the five and the six
pick of Bentleague X. Was it fair to weight
the draft and favor the captain slotted lower in the draft? We can ponder that one over the next couple
of months but after seeing who went next, I think Hal missed an opportunity to
solidify line 1. Have to admit, Swami
was a little surprised Hal went with Sarge Schwartz and RuPaul Kalman with his
second and third picks. Swami not sure the
Sarge can hang with the heavy hitters and can RuPaul learn the intricacies of
doubles at the line 1 level? Swami doesn’t believe he can! Inside scoop on these two says Hal could have
done better. Wasn’t last year’s MVP
available? These two questions (an
answers) diminish Hal’s chances to secure another title. Grant at 4 is also suspect. Based on past performance, Swami observes too
many question marks with early round selections. Young Grant has a higher ceiling this year
only because he didn’t do diddly on Brad’s team two years ago. Recall him getting benched at mid-season. Mitch Da Bitch Tucker at 5? C’mon Man!
MDB and the saying “drafted too early” are synonymous (two years in a
row)! FerrMagic at 6 is solid. Guy just wins. If anyone saw him track down that lob on game
point against the youngsters you know he gives it his all each match. Vintage Charlie Hustle. Hump’s titles speak for themselves. He’ll also be glad to recap them for
you. Mouth of Mandeville’s tennis game
is a B- but his trash talking is legendary.
Finds a way to win more often than not.
Even though that serve can be a liability. The Cuban at nine is a good value pick but Swami
believes he is not producing W’s like he once did. Put and asterik by good value. Can Alejandro adopt the “just win baby” mantra
from the Raiders. Swami left scratching
his head a lot last year. Game appears
better than win loss record. Free Willy
Spiess (everybody’s MVP) should rack up W’s in the 11th draft slot. Swami believes he’ll be a top point earner
this year for the Spin Doc’s. Kiss of
death (for Hal) taking old knees Harvey at 12.
Commish has never one his namesake league. Sorry B.
I don’t see that changing this year.
Looper should win some matches
against 13-line competition but don’t bet on it. Semi Pro golfers should not miss six-footers
to tie up a golfing scramble with money on the line. Love Lampard at 14 and Latterade at 15. Pairing the two L's should garner W’s if the original
Keith fully recovers from off season injury.
Swami, a little surprised at Toad going so late at 16. Setting low expectations may work in his
favor if he can earn the captain’s trust.
Newcomer Mills at 17 will score some W’s with that serve and
forehand. We’ll see if he can rise to
the occasion with a crowd watching with some stiffer competition. CJ, another solid pick at 18 compared to comps
across his line. All about pairings and
consistency in later rounds. Speaking of
consistency, Swami believes the vocally challenged Eskine is due for a banner
year. Well, past due. Swami also sees at least on W in Josh’s
future. May be his first. Remember boys…a Win at line 5 or 6 is worth
the same as a win at Iine 1. Finally! Not loving making one line worth 2 points by
picking a line out of the hat. Would have
preferred rewarding a match win instead with a bonus
point. Really it shouldn’t matter if the
round has five lines or six. Ombudsman
should have weighed in earlier on this topic.
Spin Doctor’s II Draft Grade = C+
I know…I know…I gave Hal a C the last time he won the
league. Consensus across the board is
that although he was in the best possible draft position, he reached on a few
draft picks when other proven talent was present. Sorry, I see a 4th place finish in
your future.
Cobra Kai II – Chris Kobrock Captain. First Round selection Ed Dauterive. Swami believes availability will be the
key. Dude has a lot of hobbies. A wise man once said…the best Bentleague
ability is availability and Swami recalls Dr. Death missing two matches in the
last round of Bentleague last year. If I
were Chris…I’d hand deliver the B X schedule to Ed’s wife and tell her not to
plan any vacay’s around our matches.
Chris slotted at two should give Cobra Kai flexibility and Swami loves
Blair at 3 and Gordo at 4. We’ll see if
the “fragile” rumors are true re. Touchard.
Looks like a formitable line 1 for the Beau Chen neighbors. Last year’s MVP Gordo should shine again. Having last year’s MVP at 4 and following up
that selection with the Prince of the Parish will make round three
interesting. Two veterans against two up
and comers across line 5 should make for some interesting match ups. I know this is not bumper pool, but I like
what the old timers bring to the table. Not
sure Lane and Ellis are ready for that.
Not sure about Sensei’s pick at six.
Not lost on the Swami that he was the only Captain who didn’t have
pre-draft paperwork already completed at the draft. This one may cause match up issues with the
no sacrifice rule in play. To be blunt, Swami
believes this was way too early for the singles specialist Phillippi at
six. Couple of stalwarts next got Cobra
Kai back on track. Wolfman at 7 has been
having his game face on since March and is primed for success. The crafty Blossman at 8 continues to find
ways to win. I’m sure Kobrock’s stomach
is happy with these selections too. Should
guarantee 100% participation at weekly practice. McGuire at 9, ensures midnight express will
be “on time” during Bentleague X. Lefty
at the net can be a difference maker. Historically
a top six selection, Swami loves Regouffre at 10. Doc Eck’s consistency at 11
should pair nicely with Kobrock’s sleeper pick at 12 (Robby). Swami knows talent taken in rounds 9 through
12 will decide who gets their name on the trophy. Fornier is a Swami favorite, as is Sid the
Kid’s Forehand. Can’t see them losing
too many line 4 or line 5 doubles. Glad
to see the Geritol Three still represented in Bentleague by George. Also glad the slump is in his rear-view
mirror. Time to put all that gym work to
use and secure some W’s for Cobra kai George.
Captain is high on Burgess. Just
need to get him on the tennis court more often.
Swami is impressed with mixture of young and more seasoned talent on the
Cobra Kai squad. Autin has numerous
titles to his name, so again, strong late round talent to take advantage of the
revised scoring system. Welcome back
Ananth. Indian Lives do matter. Now get that left-handed forehand ready and
don’t be too proud to stay back off the net on occasion and just rock that
forehand. Wayne at pick 19 and Paulie G at pick
20 to complete the Cobra Kai draft. Swami knows they can hold the rope and keep
Cobra Kai in the title hunt.
Cobra Kai Draft Grade B+
Swami likes the mixture of young and seasoned talent. Still shocked there was no pre-draft analysis
written down. Could have gotten some
talent a little later than picked (in Swami’s opinion) but made up for it with
solid analysis (and some surprise finds) in later round selections. I see them vying for the title with a very
flexible roster. If we can get Ed’s wife
on board, keep Blair healthy, keep Gordo at the MVP level, avoid surgery for
Lil Nadal, and keep ADHD engaged, and hide Garett, the pieces may just fall
into place for another trophy for Cobra Kai.
The system worked once, can it work a second time.
Big Swinging Sticks II – Captain Shane McCarthy. Captain Shane hopes that USTA success
translates into Bentleague success with familiar line 1 pairing. Goes with Eddie the Chief Burdett with his
first pick in the second round. Surprised
some but not the Swami. Makes sense on
past performance but may be asking a little too much too soon of the
Chief. Slotting captains and luck of the
cards in the hat was not kind to Come Back Shano according to the Swami. Arguably best playing captain, Shano’s draft
slot defaults to the fourth overall pick with Commish’s slotting of the
captains by previous draft position. Can Eddie deliver and live up to Shano’
expectations? Could have been co-MVP
last year with late season success. But
that was at line 2. Swami sees a much-improved
game but a tall ask nonetheless. BSS II
gets the Candlestick maker at 3. Will Butch
be needed at line 1? And how will he pair with the Samurai at line 2? Looking across, Swami predicts more L's than
W’s by the BSS top four. Can Shane
really win with anyone as Brad likes to say?
I’ve seen Jay play at the 5.0 level, and I’ve seen rackets broken by 3.5
Jay on occasion. Swami will be watching
this one closely. I know Shane came
prepared and looked at past records.
Have to admit Swami was a little confused with Schneider and the DickTrain
Lane selections so early. Just don’t see
productive pairings with these selections.
The Max Headroom look alike (DickTrain) is being asked to step it up
this year along with Eddie. Besides
RuPaul, he made the biggest leap up the draft board from last year. Are they ready to assume front line status or
is Come Back Shane asking too much from these new kids on the block? A lot of question marks for the Big Swinging
Sticks could spell trouble for title hopes.
Continuing…Swami can’t deny Pouty Parnell success to date in
Bentleague. Smoke and Mirror titles may
be more good fortune than good tennis. Still
sore about the Bulgarian’s pulled calf muscle in the first game of the deciding
match two years ago. Have to let that
go. I guess! Swami thinks Shano got it
right with the hitman Hearns at 7.
Should fare well with Minus 2 Dunbar.
Can’t believe Dunbar went this late?
Chris? If Dunbar gets his serves in and arrives on time, he will be a
big plus to Shano and BSS II throughout the season. Big “if’s” though. Latin Lover Dalton at 9 coming off a
successful B IX season. Can run hot and
cold at times. Still can’t believe Burt
and Cubano lost to the Butlers in the 3.5 youngster challenge. Wild Wild Keith West is on the ascent but big
jump in draft spots from last year to this year. Super Ray Ray high value at 11. If healthy and available, he could be a high
point earner for BSS II. Dean is always
a wild card. Loses matches he should win
and wins matches he should lose according to Swami. Predicting a record hovering just above .500. Probably too generous though. Potter solid across his line, but not sure if
he has put in necessary time on the court to be a difference maker. Crazy Eyes Monaghan usually earns points for
his captain but has to be battling confidence issues with recent benching by
his 3.5 team during the youth /old man challenge match. Nice guy Jeff Saint Ro can be a steal at
15. Dude has game to rack up more W’s
than L’s. Left many Captains scratching their
heads when reviewing won loss records. Shano will need some W’s by these late round
selections. Eric “the Red” Daigle primed
to explore more victories this year than in years past. Shano hopes that is the case although hope is
not a strategy. Swami knows Skip has a
couple of titles to his name so pencil him in for a couple of victories. Wayne and Lou at 18 and 19. No pressure on
the newbies. How will they fare when its
tied two a piece and the drunken early match crew pull up the picnic chairs to
heckle in a crucial third set tie breaker.
Boudreaux rounds out the BSS II Squad.
Solid athlete but can you really rely on anyone who loves to fish but doesn’t
eat fish.
Big Swinging Sticks II – Draft Grade C-
Hard to give the best playing captain a C- but the analysis
cannot be discarded. Swami trusts the analysis
and the expertise gained from 10 years evaluating Bentleague talent. Too many questions throughout the line up and
too many players being asked to “step it up” is too risky for BSS to hit on
every reach!
Tricky’s Tribe
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and
over again and expecting different results!
Why would the Ego/Tricky experiment work this year after failing the
last three years. It’s not lost on the Swami
that Tricky Nicky is the only captain in Bentleague X to not win a title in his
previous tenure as Captain. Did the pressure
of the draft and being slotted as a number one hinder his evaluation of
talent? Swami has been seeing a
consistent slide in the Tribe’s number one since he restarted his amateur golfing
career. This rinse and repeat pairing is
the biggest question mark on what otherwise appears to be a solid draft. Consensus and Tricky’s own admission had him
likely to go heavy with the youth movement.
Funny how that was immediately contradicted with his first two
selections. Can Rehash hold his own at
line 2 consistently. Has “the Donald” lost
a step? Who will play line 1 when the
Ego falters and the redux is exposed? Have
a feeling there might be some regret at mid-season with the Tribe’s top two
selections. Good thing is that line 1 is
only worth 1 pt. Tricky did a good job
with proven pairings though with his next six selections. Swami sees some tried and true pairings in
the middle that should bolster early round misses. If 5.0 Addi arrives, we might see him move up
to line 1. Dude better start eating
though, because at a buck twenty he may not have the stamina to last an entire
season. Swami likes the fact that the Jack
the Ripper and Mad Max show got renewed again after a successful USTA
season. Just hope there are no tie
breakers in their future. Big Burrito reunites
with “the squirrel” for another familiar pairing. Andew’s stock has been rising but line 3 will
be another hurdle he has not encountered before. Nicky better lean on Kevin “the two-time Captain
Champion” since his last tenure as captain bombed. Best
move Kev made last year was sitting out the important matches. Will be hard to do at the 9-slot. Getting both Butlers was a no=brainer
although pulling the trigger in the 8th round may have been a little
early. Swami has a feeling they will get
tested more this year with the higher-than-expected draft positions. Swami is curious about Heil Hauke at 11. Preseason observations have him in the “good
potential” category although most first year players to not score well
historically. Sundial Groeneveld at 12
could/should be a steal. But as Jim Mora
famously said…should’ve, would’ve, and could’ve seems to be a common theme with
Sundial. Lowell and the Round Mound of
Rabon appear solid on paper against their draft line. Rabon wins more than he loses usually. The senior Anderson historically can rack up
some W’s if you can find some young legs to pair up him. Speaking of young legs, a lot of folks were
high on Justin Guitreau but Swami says the Jury is still out. Show me some W’s and then we can bestow accolades
for Justin. Same for Ross Doyle. Newbies will be tested and whoever can handle
the third set TB’s will excel. Solid
pick at 18 with Don “don’t squeeze the” Sharman. Tricky will feel dandy if Don scores some
points for his captain. No more Mr. Irrelevant
for Rockin Toupsie. Can he back up last
year’s success with more victories in 2025 and can Trickly enforce the new rule
that bands hip ball holders in Bentleague.
Chris “Reply all” Coincon at 20 is a solid last pick looking across his
draft line. Swami says he could be a
difference maker. He also could be
playing with a chip on his shoulder since he was drafted higher in previous
drafts and may have something to prove.
Swami sees a lot of potential points for the Tribe in these late round
selections. Should make up for some of
the missteps early.
Tricky’s Tribe draft grade A-
Well, there you have it.
Swami sees Bentleague X as a two-horse race. It will be closer than expected because of
the new scoring system and the removal of the two-point lines. I see some proven commodities on Cobra Kai
and some up and comers on the Tribe. Will
be an interesting week 1 because these two will be going head-to-head. I’m giving Cobra Kai the edge in week1 but
the Tribe a slight edge in winning Bentleague X because of the depth. Nick could screw this up though…recall no method
to his parings in his previous Captain’s gig.
Swami going out on a limb picking the Tribe with Tricky’s lack of success
in his last Captain’s assignment. This cannot
be ignored. Swami has a feeling Indecision
will creep in with One or two bad outings from his “familiar pairings”. If so, Cobra Kai will be ready to pounce and
claim the title.
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