Bentleague V Draft Analysis: Straight from the St. Bernard Swami:

Bentleague V Draft Analysis:  Straight from the St. Bernard Swami: 

Draft grades are out...highly scientific as you can imagine from the salutatorian of the class of 1984, but mostly from observing most of you pretenders over the last few weeks/months/years....read them and weep....

Ps.

If you disagree...side bets are welcome!

Here you go:  Swami says:

Draft position 1 - Hall of Framers (Jeff Thompson)

Was there really any question as to who was going number 1.  Contrary to Kenny O’s opinion Jeff said there was no hesitation in Making Jon number 1.  If he can win with his wife in mixed he should be able to win with Autin and Olinde.  I like the paring with Jacques too with one round of singles in the mix.  I see an Ego humbling on the horizon.  Sorry Fair...fallacy of 1st round selection will be a serving of humble pie says the Swami.

Next six picks are very solid according to the Saint of St. Bernard.  Butcher will rise to the occasion having one year under his belt in Bentleague.  Followed by last year’s Captain of the Year.  El Cubano looking to prove last year was not a fluke by racking up wins without the pressure of filling out line ups each week as long as he lays off the vape.

High value selected with little Nadal and Jacobs at 4 and 5.   Lethal combination has never lost together.  Team to watch in next year’s USTA competition Commish.  Little Nadal working on doubles game to prove California critics wrong even though the Swami had him going three picks earlier.  If winter availability works in Hall of Farmers favor the tanned one is the steal of the draft at 5.

Looking across the draft board, Swami loves the next two picks for HoF’ers vs. peer selections.  Only the Ball Busters come close to equivalent talent in rounds 6 and 7, but...with Blake still in the honeymoon stage of his new relationship Swami prefers the smooth volleying of Svelt Mitch and Gordo Gekko vs. ADH poster boy Economedies and the P’whipped singles specialist.

Framer’s captain went sentimental in the next few rounds and judgement day is coming.  Year end results for HOF’s will largely depend on the eastward movement of the Beau Chen contingent.  Although the Swami has some questions..he likes the confidence level of his captain.  Let’s be honest...Hebert will have to learn how to hit more than just some smashes at the net and survive double secret probation from the Commish to quiet the critics.   Hebert a key to success with pressure to justify Captain’s confidence in earlier than projected draft spot.  Swami does like the demeanor of Sumner and Edwards to round out BC migration.  High value for the unknown according to the Captain Hefty Lefty.  

Rounding out the team with “all I do is Win” Autin at 12 is a steal if past performance any indicator.  Swami says Bi-polar Groeneveld has a lot of talent at 10 but must ignore the voices and just play tennis (faster).  Steady Freddie Olinde always a good teammate and asset at 14.  Sorry to hear Replacement for elder statesman Kingsdoft is needed.  Commish waitlist and HL’s selection could be key to bottom round success.  Captain appears confident in K Winn selection at 11.  Just put him on the deuce court and let the forehand loose.  Swami believes the technology employed during the draft will pay dividends.  Flashback to Gordo bringing ass and face to the draft as Captain makes the Swami cringe.  I trust the Captain of this team and when he says Trust the process ...I believe him. 

Swami’s prediction - 1st. Place

Meet your Bentleague V League Champions 

Draft  Grade = A 

(A+ If Beau Chen contingent performs up to the Captains expectations).

Draft position 2 - Bring It (John Allen)

Time to see if the Greenacres prodigy can handle Bentleague.  College Tennis may have been tough but wait until the drunken crowd of hecklers forms around the Red Robin for the last match on a Thursday night.  Otillo may be wishing he had Elise next to him if he happens to get paired with the out ball hitting Tulane graduate.  And...what will he do if he gets Paul “Hacksaw Jim Duggan” Eskine and he hits one of those cut serves that bounces three times before it reaches the net.  Nice to have these 4.5’s with us this year.  Great idea commish.  Just remember...you are still rookies no matter what your rating is.

To be honest....Swami just not overly excited about this lineup.  I don’t hate it but I definitely do not love it.  If Super Ray can get healthy I like 2,3,4, and 5.  Better than top tier of BFAM and Ball Busters for sure but can they carry Bring It to the title.  All can play at a top level on occasion but week in and week out consistency raises questions.  Captain believes he can Count on underrated Ronny ReGoof but check the record, this guy has been racking up more L’s Than W’s.  Same for Slick Willy Speiss.  Swami says the smooth playing Speiss one failed over head away from going into the tank each match.  Other observations:  Swami says Ferrer’s game is on the rise with the right partner, but he’s temperamental.  Then you mix in the singles specialist ( the Sly Slicing Schneider) and I don’t see good pairings up and down this line up.  Bitter Beer face Melecon’s tennis game still a year or two away from his game matching his confidence level according to the analysis.

I like Godfather George at 8 especially looking across the draft board.  Tulane alumni McQuaid, a wild card, will definitely prove to be a better 9th round selection than a captain in Bentleague IV.

Swami says Controversial Vic will have something to prove since the commish put a 3.5 rating by his name.  If he can channel that aggression into tennis shot winners instead of calling foot faults, his Captain will be pleased. 

Tyler “Ditch and Dive” Harper providing some youth in the later rounds may be needed.  Will help off set elder statesmans Ryan (Bottomless Pitt) Doubt and Smiling Skip Scoggins in the bottom third of this line up.  Swami has witnessed some surprise wins for Doubt  in years past, but with two members of the Geritol three on the same team the Captain for team Bring it has failed to merit championship consideration.  Weary legs in some of those third setters will spell doom fo team Bring It when the going gets tough.

Final two not making the Swami change his opinion.  Everyone loves the slow starting Hacksaw Eskine on their team but the guys doesn’t make winning a priority.  Swami also predicting Wild Bill Dreher’s Bentleague debut will be a rude one.  Sometimes nice guys do finish last Wild Bill.  Just ask McQuaid.  

Swami’s prediction:  2nd Place:

Not last but definitely not First Big John - Sorry.

Draft Grade - B

Draft position 3 - BFAM (Donald Allen)

It will be interesting to see how quickly this train derails.  If it weren’t for the sucky drafting by Ball Busters ahead of him on the serpintine draft, The Donald would be in a dog fight for last place.  With two clear number one’s on the draft board, pressure was on the other Allen Brother to make good use of the wrap around picks.  Sadly....for the sake of his BFAM teammates, the Swami didn’t see that happen.

Now for the analysis.....

Swami says smooth talking Dave is very good...he’s just no Kenny Otillio or Jon Buse.  Swami also excited to see Doctor Tim on the court as Part of the Commish’s tandem picks.  Rumor has it that PAC Tennis Players are mostly responsible for the west wing of his palatial estate.  May be time to reciprocate and buy a few of us a beer or two.  Also thinking Pizza would be a nice addition to the Beer.   Let’s see how Doc Tim’s Serve and Volley fame can handle some of the best returners on the Northshore and some heckling.

Swami says You can’t go wrong with John Keller as your 2nd round selection unless the Judge wanna-be is too busy on the campaign trail.  If availability works out, best 4.0 doubles player solid number 2 pick.  When is the election btw?  Swami has a feeling his competitiveness will allow him to participate more than originally thought.  Then...Donald "3rd person" Allen reached with his third pick according to the Swami.  EffUHunt (although taller than he looks) is a great player don’t get me wrong, but for a league that is predominantly a doubles league, he was drafted way too early.  Swami likes his youth and athleticism but lack of net play will be a liability on mandated Line 1 or Line 2. I mean...although this guy was a starting quarterback in high school...who was his competition?  I know he didn't play in 11-AAAA against St. Aug like the Swami did.  There are a lot of "Stars at Pelican Park" on the northshore.  BFAM Captain definitely didn’t think this one through.  Swami foresees a lot of one on one conversations with donald to donald.   

Swami sees two more ?questions at 4 and 5 based on past records alone in Bentleague.  Keeping Burt “swipe left” Dalton engaged always a challenge if he doesn’t like his pairing or if he falls behind early.  If engaged solid number 4 draft pick.  Now for the stair climbing Kobrock.  Swami predicting a bounce back year for Chris.  Recently observed practicing his net game he will have to restore his confidence after a disappointing Bentleague IV record.

Sentimental Donald went with his heart on his next three picks and most likely put the BFAM ship on a course for third place.  Rumor has it that Keto Diet Jawn is getting back into tennis fighting shape.  Swami is glad to hear this for health sake, but the Keto diet won’t help his net game.  Following that one up with the Aging Before our Eyes Original Bentley was very  Questionable this early in the draft.  Even his son was quoted as saying he went two rounds too early.  If the knees hold up...I see a few line 5 wins in his future but that is not enough for a 7th round selection.  New Hipster Phayer at 8 was also too early coming off of injury.  Two handed back hand and two new hips spell doom for BFAM title chances.  Swami predicts guile alone will help this threesome to a few wins but if pairings across draft board hold...and they have to play line 3 or higher it will surely disappoint.  Donald, take it from a Captain who went undefeated in the first Bentleague...you cannot draft with your heart.  Swami says drafting your aging buds may get you on the Commish’s first distribution list and his USTA team next year but it won’t bring you a title in Bentleague. 

Swami sees some W’s in the lineup late with Dr. Neitzsch and Todd the wet Sprocket.  4.0 Neitzsch a tough out each and every match.  Swami believes consistency a challenge for the Todd when the matches get tight but No one practices more.  Now if he can just get that serve to hold up in the third set, he will be an asset for BFAM.

A rebuilt Blossman is a teammate the Swami would like to have.  If the shoulder holds up he should pair nicely with several members of BFAM although he is the worse practice player I have ever seen.  Note to competition...don’t confuse the errors in the warm ups as a sign the match will be easy.  This guy can play.  Together with the Other Otillio they will not give tennis matches away that is for sure.

Crap shoot late with Thomas, Wayne and last year’s Mr. Irrelevant.  Have a feeling R Caston coming out with a chip on his shoulder and was actually seen practicing.  Will be interesting to see if that equates to Wins.  Swami says too few W’s to contend.  

Swami’s prediction - 4th place.  

Draft Grade - D

Draft position 4 - Ball Busters ( B Harvey III)

Swami’s analysis.  Youth will not prevail.  B III making a mockery of round one by selecting the size 9 4/8th hat wearing Ego with his top pick.  That is why you cannot bring youngster’s to a Man’s game.  Captaining by committee also proved to be a detriment after witnessing picks 3,4,and 5.  How do take advice from Fair after viewing his record as a Bentleague Captain.  

Everyone is saying this Alex guy may be the top player of B V.  Depending on availability and how many times the Irish Guy wants to play...Swami’s initial thinking is that if Alex from parts unknown is that good, he could be the difference between 2nd and 3rd place but no way he propels this squad to a title.  Swami looking forward to watching this tandem pairing against the Red Robin and Anyone with Jon.  Time to put up or shut up 4.5’s.  

Now let’s examine when this draft went south.  Oh yea...on the next two picks.

Brad “the Rooster” Humphreys at 3 and Perry the Peacock Gaffney at 4.  Seriously.  What was young Bentley thinking.  The One dimensional Rooster playing line 1 or 2 each week raises questions on why so early B III.  Almost as bad as the Hunt pick in Swami’s eyes.  And... talk about a reach....Has anyone seen the Peacock on a tennis court since last year’s infamous title match.  Unless this smiling peacock has been stealth training,  (and practicing pressure packed serves in meaningful tennis matches) he was picked way too early.  

Swami does like B III’s next two selections.  Swami says Tricky Nick “I am not overrated” Thompson will have to step it up and believes he will do just that.   Best of the new breed has to justify early selection for this team to contend.  Described as a more consistent Addison by his peers, he is rated as the best of the new breed.  Kind of like how Gorgeous George keeps getting drafted ahead of his Geritol three buds.   NExt up is “ Jeckle and Hide“ Robbie.  Swami says he can be a stalwart at 6 If the ADH don’t kick in, his lungs hold up, and he gets 80% of his First serves in.  Swami says....Pairings a key here because, like Burt, he has been known to lose interest and ostracize his partners.  Oil and Water pairing must be avoided for this 6th round selection to excel.

Hen Pecked Andrews at 7 a little early for the Swami but B III bounced back with Cannon Cayman at 8.  New players means fresh meat and increased pace for the Cannon.  Looking across the draft board I love the Cannon at 8 and kudos to you for coming back from and ACL in less than 8 months.

Swami says the Jury is out on the methodical tennis playing of Rocky at 9.  But, he’s his Dad’s good friend so this pick makes sense if you are not worried about winning.

Swami feels B III bounced back with his next three selections after almost giving the draft away in rounds 2 and 3. Swami likes the big lefty at 10.   Zipper is one or two lessons away from feasting against line 4 and 5 competition.  If B III can convince The Big Indian to stay back and crush forehands there will be more W’s from the 11th spot.  If he continues to think he’s Pete Sampras and a good net player he will continue to under achieve and see his stock slip.  Swami loves  Senor’ Sid’s forehand at 12.  If opponents feed the beast, be warned, he will eat.

More questions than answers abound for B III’s final three selections in the Swami’s eyes.  How will Wild Ass Billy Mac handle a heckling crowd after just returning to the courts.  Did his wife really kick him out the house and tell him he had to play in Bentleague.  Will his play mimic the funeral business stock market and go south?  Or will he fake an injury and go back into hiding?

As for Burgess, Swami knows he’ll compete.  But...can he win?  Predicting 50/50 won/loss for Steveb’s B V Debut.  And How will Mr. Irrelevant do in inaugural season.  Is Jonathan really worse that Calamity Caston?  Welcome to the neighborhood Mr. Robinson.  

Swami’s analysis says this team cannot contend.  I don’t think you will be last but you will not be first.  Congrats to that B III. 

Swami’s prediction:  Third Place

participation trophy On back order

Draft Grade = C

Be Afraid if you see this guy in a dark alley or a tennis court...(Addison "bitter beer face" Melacon)