Bentleague VIII - INFERNO - Draft Analysis by the St. Bernard Swami (read em' and weep)

Bentleague VIII - INFERNO

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Draft party did not disappoint. WOW! Wolfman… you outdid yourself. Best spread to date. Also, Big thanks to Dave and Kenny for the booze donation. Even though some may have over libated (Toups and Fair), fun was had by all minus a few hurt egos (Brad and the Chairman). Cannon gets nod for early front running for Captain of the year for sure. And those gold ditty bags. Left the other captains scratching their heads as everyone wanted to be a part of the Cannon’s Wolfpack. Commish (Ronny) and Chairman (Bentley), this is shaping up to be one hell of a Bentleague. All Captains came prepared. No one pulled a Gordo and came to the draft with ass and face only. Now…Let’s get to the St. Bernard Swami’s draft analysis. Often imitated but never duplicated here are my impartial draft grades. Since I am on the IR to start the league, I don’t want to hear of any favoritism. Grades and predictions are strictly based on past performance and team chemistry (oh shit Robbie). And in this case, past performance is a great indicator of future value. Also including Dave’s betting lines at the bottom for those of you confident enough to put some money where your smack talking mouth is.

Cobra Kai

Kobrock drafts Yoga enthusiast R Anderson first overall. Some thought Noah was a possibility, but Chris went chalk with Russel and the St. B Swami believes he hit a home run. Especially with Come Back Shane falling to him at 8. Three picks in the top 9 have Killer Kobrock as early night favorite... But did he back it up with spots 4-16. Let’s dive in. Will the Thrill Gement at 3. The guy will only get better with more matches, but Swami thinks a more seasoned Bentleaguer who hits the ball in more may have served Chris better. Can Super Ray find his old magic and rebound from sub-par B VII. Swami believes so coming off some health and confidence issues. If Parnell (Sc heister #2) can keep it in the court, he should be able to pair well with his Captain or Ray Ray. Don’t worry David, I am writing this on government time, so your tax dollars are going to a good cause. Sundial proved he can earn points against lower round competition. Now its time for Roberto to give it a go against the early round comp. Same for the Big Burrito. Swami knows he can take over a match when he is flying around the net but he won’t be looking across at Eskine and Crazy Eyes being drafted 8. Time to see if he can do it on the show courts. Don’t be fooled by Mr. Public Service’s (JB) practice routine…. Come match time he has a versatile game that pairs well with others. I also know the Wolf was sad to see him go to another team. I like Ernie at 10 and it should be fun to have the Andersons on the same team. Swami sees Doc Eck (spider man) earning points on lines 3-5 along with SS Skipper. Tokin Tyler at 13 a stretch in Swami’s eyes but last year’s Captain of the year may benefit from another Captain putting him on the correct line instead of overreaching like he did all of last year. Geritol George, if healthy may be the steal of the draft. Looking across the draft line far and away the best player at 14. Burt #2 will have to show the Swami something at 15 to merit more ink and the new Mr. Irrelevant Bam Bam Cam rounds out a very solid roster. Initial indications right after the draft said front runner, especially with the more athletic than he looks Shane falling to him at Number 2. Swami likes this team, but does he love them….hmmm.

Not enough.

St. Bernard Swami says - Cobra Kai draft grade: B

Swami has them finishing in 3rd

Dave has them -120 on the betting line. (2^nd)

Butchers Cracked Racquets

Was it really a Toss-up at #1 overall? St. B Swami believes the Ark building Noah – and skinny legs Anderson debate could have gone either way. Yes, he doesn’t have Russell’s power but he does have better wheels. And he’s riding high having just won the Fair/Priola/McCarthy singles league. Solid first rounder and can win at both singles and doubles. Hearing mixed reviews on Mr. Daugherty at 2. Some say too high. Swami believes JB could have gotten him later. Swami also believes Captain Butcher has a high tennis IQ so he’s giving him the benefit of the doubt with his choice at 2. I also believe he is the best playing Captain (on paper) no matter what Robbie says. I see the captain and Noah giving all comers a tough go at line 1. IMO - The middle of this lineup is where the candlestick maker hit it out of the park. Rehash will thrive with lower expectations in my view. No more pressure means the Donald can show why he’s the pride of Milsap. If Gordo self-medicates correctly, he will be formidable at 5. Svelt Mitch coming off stellar State and Sectionals play is better across his line as is little Sc heister Phayer. Should be point machines for Team CR. The Cuban was a steal at 8 and should be a point getter if his body holds up. Newcomer Serpas should benefit with seasoned playing partners. Two lefties at 10 and 11 are solid but young Thomas (White Chocolate) will have to get better at the net if he is to continue upward spiral up draft board. Round Mound of Rabon not so round these days (after a dedicated offseason on the side to side elliptical) should garner late draft pick points for team Cracked Racquets . If Jared gains some consistency, he can be best across his draft line but can you count on him for more than 3 matches. Swami believes Eskine would get more W’s if he gave tennis the same amount of attention, he gives his music. The vocally challenged one has to rebound in Swami’s mind for the prediction below to be realized. JB finished strong with Trumpeter Mount and my former captain in the Beau Chen league Edwards. Mount has the game to score points. Edwards will have to be able to last more than five games and work on that backhand to be a factor. Solid top to bottom with two names I am unfamiliar with. Should the St. B Swami blindly trust the Captain’s choice of Daugherty and Serpas??? It really don’t matter if Noah shows up each week. Swami believes that middle crew of seasoned Bentleaguers…along with Noah and JB will make life hard for the other squads. But do they have enough to win it all. They have a good combination of singles players and doubles players so Swami knows they will be in it at the end.

St. Bernard Swami says - Butchers Cracked Racquets draft grade A-

Swami has them finishing 2nd

Dave has them 4^th on the betting line. (4^th)

Deucebags

What a horrible name #1. Makes players hope to be picked by another team. Swami is unsure about ADHD’s algorithm he was bragging about. Supposed to take into account ability and availability. Then he selects the wounded Ego number one. How badly the arm is hurting will go a long way in defining this teams success. Too many camp trips, a failed waffle house outing, a loss to his son in Golf…all say his best days are behind him. Has line one experience but will that merit W’s. Bentleague competition better revive the Ego or Robby’s paralysis by analysis may go for naught. No brainer taking the Smooth Hefty Lefty at two. The guy can play and he can play every week. But can this duo beat Noah/Butcher or Russell/McCarthy? The St. Bernard Swami just don’t see the It factor up top. Will grammar school flashbacks hurt JA’s willingness to go to the matt for his captain. Big Honeysuckle and Fair have had some success (except against Shane and I) so he may help line 1 if top tier faulters. Commish, Charlie Hustle, and Robby decent core but not better than broken racquets core IMO. Eddie VanBurdette can bring the house down with his voice and guitar but can he hold his own vs. his draft line at 7. VanBurdeltte won a lot of points last year but he won’t be sneaking up on players in B VIII. Wine Sipping Spiess has a chance to be the steal of the draft at 8. How Mesa and Spiess went this low is confounding to the Swami. Too high for Blake. Sorry. Has he been playing in stealth mode at the Santuary. Does he still have weak knees from the honeymoon? Too low (if you ask Old Knees Harvey) for Bentley. Time to answer the critics once and for all Chairman. With no Tanned one besides him, who will run down all those lobs. CJ has some fire at 11 although I only have observed him from a distance. Word is Coinon is solid at 12. More to come after a few Bentleague matches and the heckling begins. Can’t believe Indian Lives Matter went this late (at 13). Is it finally his year to shine and will he start posting some availability for his captain? Boudreaux is athletic enough to win across his line and proved he was a team asset last year. Swami believes Weary Legs LaCoste is another possible the steal of the draft at 15. This guy can rack up points against the “right” competition. Precious Paul Guidotti can hang at 16 and can also belt out some korokke. Team just looks old on paper…. And, once the tide starts rising…will Robby right the ship or jump or worse yet push someone off to save himself? Everyone would have to have career years for this team to contend and Swami just don’t see it….

St. Bernard Swami says - Deucebags draft grade C

Swami has them finishing 4^th

Dave has them 3rd on the betting line. (3^rd)

Cannon’s Wolf Pack

Turnaround was kind to the Wolfpack. Dr. Death, Tricky Nicky, and Bitter Beer Face Melancon should be able to hang with any other top three. Swami says it really depends on which Addison shows up just like last year. Better chances with Addi on Thursday nights vs. Sat morning now that Crazy Eyes in single. But, young guns proved their worth last year and the Wolf is banking on the trend upwards continuing. Will Sergeant Schwartz effortless game finally translate into W’s. Swami believes playing for the Wolf will help. Swami knows the Wolf loves him a Schneider Neitzschman sandwich. Banking on Beau Chen practice partners to bring him a title. Swami thinks he may have pulled the trigger a little early on this duo. Sure they have scored well in the past but that was at a much lower draft spot. At 5 and 6, their competition will be stronger. Will the spin masters have similar success as in years past, the Wolfman hopes so? The Cannon, fully recovered, will bring the boom as a 7^th rounder. St. Bernard Swami believes it make or break for the Wolf with picks 8-11. BradMode as an eighth rounder? I thought Johnny helped fix his server. Future Mandeville Mayor McGuire, if he lays off the lamb chops, can dominate the net on the lower lines and if paired with the right baseliner…(Wolfman, are you listening?) may vie for MVP (jk). George the Animal Steel has nothing on Vaughn the Animal Pizz. If the knees hold up, I’d be tempted to put the Animal in the lineup each week. Damn this team has a lot of youth. Todd the Wet Sprocket Delcambre has the game to dominate if he would quit thinking about his toss Another athlete with LA Tech Alum Burgess. Senor’ Sid’s forehand with Dave at the net or Vaughn? Crazy Eyes Monaghan a question mark until I see him off roller blades and on the tennis court. Swami knows Toups will compete but is last year’s Mr. Irrelevant ready for LaCoste and Mount? Wayne’s World at 16 the best across his draft line will have to step up to help Toups and Monaghan. Swami seen the chemistry of this team first-hand at the draft and they would run through a wall for their captain. That my friends could be the deciding factor in this very balanced draft. Young, Talented, Good Tennis IQ and more importantly EQ. Do I need to say any more…?