Draft Day Analysis - Swami Says...
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Angry Squirrels
Consensus number one overall pick was a no brainer.
Even the squirrel couldn’t eff that up. Congrats Noah…now it’s time
to live up to the hype.
Will the thrill solid at two but availability biggest
question. Should be tough out when paired w Mr. Marquez.
Candlestick at three will be fun to watch during the “have
to hit the toss” round. Squirrel may want to sub him out during that
round.
Gordo “can” be real good! I’ll leave it there for you
to ponder. Butcher and Gordo may be nick named the “see-saw” duo before
the league is over. Could be a “hot” pairing or a “cold” pairing.
Swami is luke-warm on this and feels the squirrel will be angry.
Eddie the chief drafted a little higher than projected after
word of USTA success spread.
Swami likes his game at five, solid by all accounts, but
we’ll have to see if he can handle line 2’s vs. line 4’s. Won’t see many
forehands when he plays KMA.
Pouty Parnell is a clear over draft at six. Will
junior tennis form hold up in Bentleague this go round with higher
expectations. Will benefit from familiar pairing w shallow Hal.
But draft position higher than normal means line 2 or 3 and tougher
competition. Let’s see how many W’s he posts this year without Schwartz.
McGuire’s legacy was made during a six week stretch on Taco
Tuesdays. That and Tricep days at PAC. Scouting report says great
reactions at the net but back hand will falter during rallies. Just have
to find the back hand. Also should do legs every now and then.
Shallow Hal always solid and real solid at 8.
Definitely most consistent across his draft line. Cutter and
athleticism under rated and should give squirrel some W’s at line 4 ?
Big Burrito at 9 pairs well with the Captain. Net play
can win it for you or lose it for you. If Tops’l Andrew shows up Kevin
will be happy. If taco Tuesday Andrew shows up the jury will be out.
Will new eyes help depth perception on those out balls he usually hits.
Swami says Rabon usually under rated each year. Racked
up some wins with familiar pairings on his squad last year so optimism running
high. Probably why he was drafted earlier this year. Puts in the
work on the side to side cardio machine too.
Swami says Eric Dangle Daigle has upside if he can get that
serve in! big “IF” from scouting reports!
Crazy eyes Monaghan athleticism under rated.
Definition of judging a book by its cover. Can that frying pan scoop
forehand hold up at line 4 or will he be relegated to line five or lower.
Usually feasts on line 5 so Squirrel should take note of that. we’ll
see. Has yet to tame that new racket according to Swami.
Geritol George last of the geritol three. Has
consistent game to excel in the one point lines but is on a losing streak of
late. Swami and the Squirrel Captain trying to figure out why he is on a
losing streak.
Spanish Garrett competes at a high level but doubles game a
little suspect for Bentleague play. Quick Recovery from surgery may
justify this selection. At least that is what Kevin is counting on.
Swami says St. Ro should get more wins and the jury is out
on why he doesn’t. Dr jeckle Mr Hide tennis game could make or break
Angry Squirrels’ year! Drafted higher last year so should fare (not fair)
better at 15.
Don’t call me “David” Butler should score some for team
squirrel. Goal was to separate the brothers because they play better
together according to one captain. We’ll see how they play apart
now. Can we get name plates so we know who is on the court at all
times. Dan the Man will get his chance to shine without brotherly
comparison.
Tom Tom Chamberlain may be sleeper pick with his unorthodox
game playing on line 5 and 6. Swami likes this spot for Tom Tom…although
some Captains felt like it was way too early.
Don’t sleep or squeeze the Sharman! Swami sees points
coming from Dandy Don! Sometimes looks do deceive. Swami says this
guy has game.
Boudreaux’s as the final round pick kind of
surprising. Although this is not soccer. If he can pick good tennis
days like he picks good wine days, he may be a pleasant surprise for his
Captain! He just has to decide if he is right handed or left handed.
Overall grad of B- according to the St. Bernard Swami.
Kind of a draft let down after Mr. Marquez. This team just doesn’t
have the “it” factor and Swami sees them finishing third.
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Killers
Doc Ed aka the jackass at number 1? Had success with Brad
partnership in the past and coming off a PAC singles championship. Logic
says it was a solid choice but something unsettling here troubling Swami.
Clear skill level drop in doubles game from first two selections. Time to
back up the hype. And please tell me rumors of his cheapness are not
true. He’s a Doctor for goodness sake.
Paired w Barney Rubble at line 1 …can this pair challenge
consistently against peers across draft lines. Swami sees two forehand
primary players, with only one being a strong net player. Swami not as
optimistic as Mouth of Mandeville.
Brad knows he can pencil Mr topspin in every week if needed.
Does past success guarantee future earnings for Chris or has players
learned to bring him to the net. Can’t say anything bad about my former
teammate. If his opponent has a drop shot, I’m betting on the other
team.
Young Gabe at four? Fundamentally sound but
fundamentals alone don’t win in Bentleague! Another baseliner too.
Swami predicts Volley game will be tested! He has moxy and made it
to the pub after the draft so I like that he can hang. I just don’t like
him in this draft position. Swami predicts the Luis prodigy will be
tested by the hecklers.
Tanned one Steve Jacobs at five!
Will appreciate getting paired with someone younger than him
for a change. Does he still possess the weapons to justify fifth round
selection? Should be a solid pairing with next two picks. Hope the
shoulder is healed because your captain will need your competitiveness.
The other Allen brother at six may be the perfect spot for
The Donald. Hope he has more success than the other Donald had in the
debate. Will appreciate less pressure and lower line placement.
Swami predicting more success than in years past due previous
sentence.
Ray Ray solid at 7 if his body can hold up and his wife lets
him skip a few kid functions! These three are frail. What could be
a positive could be a negative with one tweak says the Swami…Brad crossing his
finger he can pencil them in 50-75% of the time. Better use a pencil with
an eraser.
Highly touted Max at 8! Nice hair and height but will
that equate to wins. Net game will only carry you so far mad max…better
learn how to hit that rally ball getting drafted this high! Don’t sweat
it…some of us are just jealous of hair.
Cannon Cayman at nine primed for a good year! If every
match was played in the bubble this guy would be a top five selection.
May find himself on the dirt some to temper that cannon forehand! Wishing
all the best for the Karma believing Chef except when he plays KMA.
Jaybo coming off best Bentleague stats to date in
2023. Dude almost carried his team to the title last year if it weren’t
for one pulled Bulgarian calf muscle. If the guy who served three aces to
close out a match in 2023 shows up and out weekly in 2024 Captain Brad will be
justified and happy with his 10th round selection.
Purple People eater Toad Delcambre is another one that may
struggle in the u can’t catch your toss round. Has the game to get W’s
but for some reason usually doesn’t. Captain Brad hoping he figures out
that serve and how to whiten his teeth after a good bottle of wine!
The two Keith’s go next! Krebs and Laterrade.
Reports from the 3.5 scouts say these two are solid picks.
smiling Laterade has more upside and all Krebs does is win was the
scouting report. League may be decided by rounds 10-15 so Brad did well
here. Oh wait…these lines are only worth 1 pt vs. 2.
If asked to play higher than line 4 or five may reveal
holes. Just saying!
Love LA tech Burgess at 14! Looks strong compared to
the elder statesman in his draft line. KMA Captain had him targeted so
that weighs well on draft slot.
Reply all Coincon will have to bring some lefty magic to his
pairings in order to get some W’s. On paper that will be a challenge
against draft line mates unless Jeff St. Ro can’t figure how to keep the ball
inside the white lines.
Looper knows how to compete! Should be a pleasant
surprise for his Captain. I know he can make a six footer with pressure
but can he hit a low skidding cutter to his back hand in a third set tie
breaker. Oh wait…Swami knows the answer to that question! Guessing
more W’s than L’s so nice pick Belding.
Paulie G at 17 and Cam Cam at 18! Should make for an
interesting pairing. Paulie may have the best hand stand in Bentleague
but this in not gymnastics. He’ll have to step it up on the tennis
court. Swami believes Cam can win. Swami also believes Cam was
lucky to miss out on my nose guard career! Have to justify non-last-round
selection with some W’s!
No more excuses from the vocally challenged guitar player
either! He’ll probably be playing against Toups for goodness sakes!
Will have to turn in his greenacres membership card if he don’t get above
a 50% winning percentage this year. This may be your year Paulie.
And… keep playing guitar and singing! We wouldn’t make fun of you
if we didn’t love you. Ps. Your vocal coach needs the money and job
security.
Swami grades this squad with a A-
Killers and the Mouth of Mandeville will be in the hunt.
if the 3.5’s live up to preseason billing and their number
one excels. Swami not sold on picks 3-8 in initial review so looks like a
2nd place team and no ring this year Killer!
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Smash Brothers
Familiar pairing at line 1! Still remember these two
eff’ers beating my line one in the second to last match last year. Could
have used those two points since shallow Hal took the DQ and pink hat!
Still smarts!
Swami and Mesa think these two will be better this go round
although tie breakers seemed to be an issue with their team last year.
Swami still says Tricky is on the rise because of his age and ability,
but can he dial it back after missing two or three long and right a sinking
ship before it sinks! Has not proven that in the past. Fair
competes with the best of them but extra focus on golf and grilling may set him
back across line one draft mates and the more dedicated players.
Svelte Mitch at three? Wow? Hope the volleys are
on point this year. If the net is 1/2 inch too high or he thinks the net
is 1/2 inch to high his game will suffer and it will be a trigger pulled too
early! First major surprise on draft night was Mitch going this early.
Goof at five is historically solid. Talk about
historic… this team is seasoned…aka old. Including the captain. We
will see if the experience pays dividends or haunts them. If they stay
healthy…experience (age) may prevail…but if I was a betting man...
Hope they all last the full season and stay healthy.
Same for all the elder players including yours truly.
Cajun Melancon at six. Anyone told the Cuban he ran
into a tree on the slopes? If anyone can bounce back it will be the
freakishly athletic and skinny Addison! Swami is pulling for your
recovery! May buy you a burger just to fatten you up.
Angry Ferr Ball at 7! Nobody competes harder than
Charlie Hustle. Wishing u all the best except when you are playing KMA
and Robby.
Free Willy Spiess at eight. Willy is always a good
pick on paper! A tennis prodigy who is now in his upper 60’s. He
likes his wine cheap and his cigars on sale and that’s why I love him.
Recall him almost captaining a winner in an earlier Bentleague.
Will nice guy willie finish on top. Depends on the nerves and that over
head smash.
Roberto Sundial Groanaveld! I know I spelled it
incorrectly Mitch. Envisioning a Sundial pairing with Mad Matt and it may
be combustible. Thinking bounce back year for Sundial as the bar was set
surprisingly low last year. He should win more than he does….just ask
Jaybo.
Rookie of the year candidate Dean? Game can be at a
3.0 or 5.0 level. Cuban missile crisis hoping for the latter and hoping
his knees hold up. Swami’s says the jury is out on his knees and serve.
Time will tell but Swami wonders why he wasn’t drafted by KMA?
Reason?
Doc Eck should be a spider man villain! Game has no
flaws and no real weapons! Perfect draft pick at 11! I wish I had
him on my team and his abs. Usually wins more than he loses unlike
Eskine!
Can Fournier’s game translate into W’s. Mesa hoping
nice guys don’t always finish last. Fournier beat the Swami in singles
after switching from a hard court to a clay court (fluke). Worse move
ever by lil nadal as he owned the third set TB. Singles specialist will
get tested in doubles, but I know he will compete for every point.
Mike “the detective” Lane better figure out how to get
w’s for the Cuban’s sake!
Has the temperament to excel if paired with the right
partner. Still get him confused with the guy who pulled his calf last year.
Swami say this is the perfect spot for the Chairman of
Bentleague to excel! old knees Harvey not paired with the tanned one will
be interesting. Partner better get used to running down lobs!
Swami’ s only question is if he can still pull off the serve and volley game
with his advanced age and old knees. Draft position says ‘no’ but that
again may be a blessing in disguise.
How the Keith West was won! Time to separate from the
other Keith! Let’s check this guy’s won loss record at the end so we can
distinguish the two Keith’s.
Need a nick name for George Lampard! Will be watching
this week if you are in the line up!
CJ has the game and a tennis shop if you need a discount on
Merch! Impressed the one time I beat him in the bubble. Should get
W’s at line 5! Likes a more orthodox game. Don’t have much of that
in Bentleague.
The “other” Butler out to prove himself as better than his
brother. Don’t call me Danny yet to make a mark so it’s time to shine
Danny. Oops. I mean David!
Toups…time to put up that 3-1 record and get more playing
time. You need at least eight matches before you brag about won loss
percentages on draft night. Mr. Irrelevant Again! If that isn’t enough to
motivate you I don’t know what is! But, coming off an injury we are all
just glad you are with us! Hali is too.
Draft grade of C! Swami sees age and some holes on
draft night for consistent winning. Sorry
Looks like a fourth place team to the Swami.
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And last but not least…
The only undefeated captain of previous Bentleague’s did his
homework and came out swinging on draft night. Pre draft video montage
had players chomping at the bit to play with the Bentleague I champion!
Never seen a more cohesive unit on draft night.
First pick was one fourth of the WWE four horseman.
Yes…no brainer first round pic - Russ Don’t call me Russel Anderson!
Dude plays with a chip on his shoulder and long hair. A perfect fit
for Kiss My Ace! LFG! Time for revenge against that jackass who won
the singles championship.
At two, KMA goes with the sweet swinging lefty!
Playing with a growl on his face of late perfect pairing for the yoga
enthusiast! Just pencil him in every week and you can expect 10 W’s
! Swami don’t care if the growl is because of the diet or the threat of
moving…but having him angry on the court is perfect for Bentleague.
Number three is steady as they come Mike don’t call me
Michael “Sergeant” Schwartz ! Not to be confused with Sergeant Shultz!
Captain struck lightening here with the if you can’t beat him pick him
philosophy. Don’t see anyone volunteering to play the Sarge and the
Samurai! Across these draft lines.
Yep…last year’s sensation fell to the Pride of the Parish at
four. Swami asks.. who you want to go to battle with…young Gabe or the
Samurai! Case closed! And don’t even get me talking about Gecko
Gordon or the Svelt one. Swami’s taking Samurai Schneider all day every
day.
Everyone loves Rudy and his crochet’d shirt. Been
perfecting those top spin ground strokes since joining PAC and is ready to be
heard! Every captain had him on their short list but KISS My Ace got him.
Can you imaging Rupaul’s forehand with the Saint of Saint Bernard’s back
hand. Opponents already having night mares. Sorry. Take a
Xanax!
ADHD Robby at six! No apologies, just a bug eyed
competitor who will get w’s! Capt says just lace em up and play!
Lil Nadal has it from here.
joker Joe bringing a lil lefty into the mix in the middle of
the line up! Make no mistake about. KMA Captain had a draft day
game plan and executed it. Swami believes the next seven picks will make
the difference! U bet the Other captains are sorry they don’t have the
Hard swinging lefty on their squad.
What…mix in a hard swinging righty to an already potent line
up! All Swami heard before the draft was Max this and Keith K this???
Don’t sleep on Alejandro! lil Nadal didn’t! And wait to they pair
up! New thunder and lightening duo should get plenty of W’s just ask
Looper and CJ!
Steal of 2023 could be a repeat steal of 2024 Bentleague!
At 9! C’mon man! New honey back in the US should equate to
more playing time! No more traveling to Ecuador! Pencil him in for
W’s. Swami excited to see pairings. A lot of scary possibilities.
Add in
Dominating Domingues and Swami can’t contain his enthusiasm.
Scary young lefty forehand …need I say more. Foresee a Lil Nadal
Domingues pairing soon too.
What’s my name…say it…say it - Jack Ellis? Swami
believes he is a steal at 11. Did he really beat 4th rounder Gabe in
singles? Great pic at 11 and if it correlates to a discount at total wine
all the better! Remember his name and won loss record in December and
you’ll wonder how Swami new what was coming.
All Doug does is win in Bentleague. Four titles to his
name and was also on the first edition of Kiss My Ace. Enough said!
Just win Baby. Bogalusa Doug will not let down his
captain.
Swami said Senore Sid has a 5.0 forehand and everyone is
scared of it! Great pic at 13! He’s also coming off a PAC doubles
championship with …wait for it…wait…Samurai Schneider! And to add icing
on the cake…he’s from the Parish so you know he will compete on every point.
Mixing in a little don’t call me Harry “Shawn” Potter at 14
gives KMA an all around athlete that doesn’t shy away from a battle.
Skipper Scoggins gives KMA a coach on the court every time
he walks out there. And he has a proven track record as a KMA
original. The “Just draft winners and let them do their thing” mantra
continues. Swami surprised he got skip so late. What were the other
captains thinking?
And don’t sleep on Mr. Smith. Underrated falling to 16
IMO. Has sixth round potential. Just has to be paired with the
right partner. Read the above analysis again.
Next was the Patriarch! Someone had to teach Russ how
to play. Why not take the Patriarch and pair him with KMA’s number one
pick. Capt. is confident his crafty game will earn KMA points.
Welcome to Wayne’s World at 18. Quietly earning points
in Bentleague for years now. Don’t let his quietness fool you. He’s
mean on the tennis court.
And rounding out the KMA roster, Lil Nadal got Josh
Clark. Anyone who can hit a vape with that potency can compete on the
KMA captain’s team. Looking across the draft line, I’d put my guy
up against the others any day of the week.
Is it any surprise the Swami give a Draft grade A to KMA
after doing the analysis.
To summarize…it
Looks like a two horse race between KMA and the
Killers. Did you all know I was a mainstay Bradley’s title winning
team. Not a coincidence because without me Humps Heavy Hitters would not
have won.
Swami staring at a A and an A-. Slight edge with the Kiss My
Ace line up. Great balance of proven commodities, up and comers, steady
eddies, and young guns. Top to bottom by far the deepest team.
Now lets play some tennis!!!
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Oh wait…Lets finish this with a captain’s evaluation.
Re. captain evaluations:
Slating the squirrel at 8 works in his favor. Commish
overruled draft day decision to rate all captains equal and used the average
draft position of the last four years. Taking into account that the
squirrel has bionic knees may have contributed to the 8th round
slot. Solid player but knees no longer capable of outdated serve and
volley attack. Serve and volley has past you bye Angry Squirrel.
Leader of the Killers rating out as a 7 will help. Principal
Belding has the game to play up but not the heart. One egregious tweaner
and his partner will question motive and competitiveness. Under handed serves
won’t work against the youth of KMA.
Was high on Mesa having been slotted at 7 also. Swami
believes he Loss confidence in his volleys and his ground strokes in recent
play. He better find them both quickly because Bentleague draft rating
has him finishing last.
Lil Nadal is slotted at six. High enough to play line
1 or 2 and low enough to own lines 3 and 4. Math minor will come in handy
as he prepares weekly line ups. When you mix the best captain with the
best draft you can understand Swami’s pick to have Kiss My Ace II holding up
the trophy in December.
But…
talk is cheap and draft analysis is only good for pre draft
smack talk.
Time to suit em’ up and play!
#Vamonos Team KMA
Ps.
Rating the Commish
so far – so good. Like the proactive communications to
date. A little better than last year already.
Rules mixing in different match ups is a nice mod.
Rules that change point totals for each line is hard to wrap my head
around. If you have the no sacrificing rule in play why make line 1 more
than line 5. This gives the bionic squirrel an advantage and hurts the
Captains who did their homework and drafted winners later in the draft.
We’ll see how this plays out but on the surface…this encourages over use of top
picks at the top of the score card.
Special thanks to the Chairman too. Not easy
coordinating courts each week. He did his best Vic Morlas impersonation
at the draft but all he has to do is win to shut up the naysayers. I’m
thinking the Donald would have been a great 14th rounder. No
pressure may be his best friend in Bentleague X!
LFG!
See y’all tonight
Swami Out!!
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