You wanted a BLOG Kevin…here’s your effing BLOG!
I never shy away from the
truth. Swami is not the Captain of
KMA. He is the voice and pulse of the Bentleague
Players. I pay attention to the masses,
and it’s reflected in the Blog. As the ombudsmen
of Bentleague I am required to be impartial, fair, and equitable. This is not equality boys. The Swami don’t have to treat everyone the
same. If you want equality sign up for a
league that gives everyone a participation trophy. I just have to be fair. I must rise above the foray and not get caught
into a he said she said debate. The
masses can judge the merits of my positions and opinions as they do now but
just know that the writings in this Blog are an impartial summary of events
that take place during the year. And that includes decisions by the captains,
the commish, the chairman, and the board of directors. The ombudsman cannot be intimidated by the
pink hat. If you can’t handle the truth,
get off my wall. But…I know you want me
on that wall so you can sleep at night. No
one is beyond reproach. And that
includes to current commissioner and namesake of the league. The ombudsman is the voice of the
people. Swami presents facts and
theories that are non-biased and available for debate but don’t question my
motives. This BLOG is NOT personal. Opinions and Theories matter in this country
and I will not go quietly into the good night!
Now for the recap:
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| These two dress nice and can play old Man Tennis! |
rnd 5
Nov 21th, Thursday
6:00 Kiss
My Ace Deux Smash Brothers
Line 1 Russell Anderson Mark
Fair 5-7,1-6,6-0 Kiss
My Ace
Jeff Thompson Nick
Thompson
Score don’t look right but I heard
KMA kicked ace! Way to bounce back
Russ. Jeff Santana shines at line 1
coming fresh off Northshore Combo Doubles Title.
Line 2 Michael Schwartz Addison
Melancon 6-7,6-3,6-0 Smash Brother
Rudy Kalman Blake
Powers
Full Third set was not kind to KMA
twosome. Swami scratching his head that
after two close sets they could be served a bagel in set number 3. Not gonna lie. A little surprised by this result. Especially with squeaky’s under hand serve. May have to add that one to my repertoire.
Line 3 Mark Schneider Mitch
Tucker 6-2,6-0 Kiss
My Ace Deux
Joey Dunbar Ronny
Regouffre
2 and Oh! Say it ain’t so MDB. Mighty Joe and Samurai handle up as Goof’s
one match winning streak comes to an end quickly. Although I like the result, Swami thought
this one would have been closer.
Line 4 Tony Priola Mike
Mesa 6-0,5-7,6-4 Smash
Alejandro Torres Billy
Spiess
Tough one on clay for KMA. And Tough watching the Cuban’s bad line calls
all night. Overruled twice by Free Willy
there was at least two more that should have been overruled. And if he would have
called that last one out, WW III would have broken out. Not sure where the prolonged look to find a
favorable mark came from bit it should be outlawed ASAP. Thank small g god the crowd was there to
witness the shenanigans. Courts haven’t
been groomed all day so by 6pm they have thousands of marks for you to shop for. Swami admits the Smash Brothers Duo was more
consistent throughout but it’s still hard to swallow. Kudos for finishing it
out. Recall two great shots leading 5-4
in the third in that final game.
Line 5 Devin Smith Mark
Ferrer 3-6,6-0,6-0 Smash
Doug Autin Greg
Eckholdt
Another full third set and another
bagel in the third for KMA. Tough ask of
Sir Devin and Bogalusa Doug to beat Charlie Hustle and Doc Eck in three. Optimism running rampant after first set
quickly vanquished in sets 2 and 3. Doc
and Ferr are not going to beat themselves.
Total Points 5 8
KMA not used to losing. This one hurt but just how much depended on
the night match between the Squirrels and Killers. And, since this is round 5, point totals have
increased. So, what would have been a 3-5
loss, turns into a 5-8 loss. Blood
pressure starting to rise.
7:30 Angry
Squirrels The
Killers
Line 1 Noah Marquez Chris
Kobrock 6-0,6-3, Angry Squirrels
Greg Gordon Gabe
Perez
Some interesting line up pairings for
the Killers. I know the Donkey had his
brother’s b day party but you still had Come Back Shane available at line 1. Guess Mouth of Mandeville was accepting of a
possible split of the three-point lines.
Gordo’s stock continues to rise…but it’s also not bad getting paired with
Noah each week. Captains next year
should pay attention before falsely grading Gordo too high.
Line 2 Will Gement Shane
McCarthy 6-4,6-7,7-5 The Killers
Eddie Burdette Donald
Allen
Squirrels are solid when they have
everyone available. Cue in Will the
Thrill for Captain Kev. Best match of the
night by far goes the distance. Guess
moving Shano down to line 2 helped in this regard. Could have been much worse for the Killers
had they not taken this one. …and with
the point totals increased…. just what AS Captain needed. From what the Swami witnessed; The Donald played
his best match of the year. But…everyone
wins with Shane so lets not get carried away.
Line 3 David Parnell Max
Agnew 3-6,6-3,7-5 Angry
Squirrels
Hal Neitzschman Cayman
Sinclair
Could Max and Cayman make it three
in a row having already beat Parnell and Hal twice already this season? You know what they always say…it is hard to
beat a team three times in a season and for this example it rang true. Hairy Hal and the Pouty Parnell know how to
problem solve and by the score of sets two and three it appears they did just that. And did anyone else notice that for some
reason, Max cut his hair. Big mistake. Big mistake.
Power of the P at play? He may
not win another match Delilah/I mean Brad.
Line 4 Dave McGuire Brad
Humphreys 7-6,7-6 Angry Squirrels
Andrew McQuaid Chris
Coincon
Beastie Boys racking up wins. Watched this one myself…and it could have
gone either way. Reply all Coincon
played really well. Just seemed like the
Squirrel duo won all the important points. Especially when Captain Brad tries tweeners in
tie breakers.
Line 5 Chris Rabon Jay
Blossman 6-2,2-6,7-5 Angry
Squirrels
Kevin Phayer Ken
Looper
Full third Set rule very popular in
Round 5. Four in the first match and
three in the second match. Captain Squirrel
also garners first win of the season. First
win Kevin. How did this slip under the
radar. Devoting too much attention to Ronny
Goof I guess kept Kevin off the Blog front page. Evenly matched on paper only question was if Looper
could sustain first set tennis level throughout. Lull in the second set up tightly contested
third set. Crafty Float Boat Captain
almost pulled it out but in the end Squirrel good fortune remains. KMA needed the Killers to lose but not by
this much.
Total Points 10 3
What would normally be a 6-2 win
turns into a 10-3 win since we are in Round 5 thus catapulting Angry Squirrels
back into the title chase. Standings are
getting tighter. Not sure this is a good
thing are not. One thing is for sure…by
making the points higher in round 5, it diminishes what transpired in rounds 1
through 4. On to match two.
Nov 23th, Saturday
Visitor 1 Home
1
8:00 Kiss
My Ace Deux Angry Squirrels
Line 1 Michael Schwartz Noah Marquez 6-2,7-5 Angry Squirrels
Mark Schneider Greg Gordon
Guess Noah didn’t have plans for
Thanksgiving!! Hey…I got an idea, lets
increase the point total for round 5 only and schedule two matches during Thanksgiving
week! Effing Commish is a genius. Guess I should have asked more poignant
questions during the pre-draft interview process. KMA showed some Moxy with 2nd set
score but maybe a little over matched on paper.
And yet another win for Greg Chong while paired with the owner of the
lost Ark. Kevin looking like a squirrel genius
with this BS.
Line 2 Rudy Kalman Will Gement 6-4,6-3 Angry Squirrels
Jeff Thompson Eddie
Burdette
Goal to at least split line one and
two backfires. Looks like the Chief Burdette
and Will the Thrill handle up at line 2.
Early MVP Candidate (RuPaul) struggling to find his MoJo of late. Hope that baby sleeps through the night on
Wednesday so you are well rested for the finale’. This Burdette guy quietly entering MVP
conversations! And that’s two Saturdays
in a row for Will. Thought you had to
work on Saturday’s you liar. Good for
you and good for Squirrel. With Xmas coming…you
probably should have worked the extra hours.
Line 3 Joey Dunbar Jay Butcher 6-0,3-6,6-3 Kiss My Ace Deux
Tony Priola Hal
Neitzschman
Interesting tennis on court 7. KMA had it under control until they didn’t. Couple of shaky games in the middle of the 2nd
gave life to Butch and Nietz comeback hopes.
Swami knew Hairy Hal was going to fight until the end…only question was
how would Butch’s volleys and Joey’s serves hold up? Who would blink first? Did Karma play a part on the phantom let
point. Did ventriloquist Hal throw his voice
and say “back” during Lil Nadal’s serve.
And did they really not offer to replay the point? In the end, Joey’s
serve came through, Candlestick wishes he had a few volleys back, and KMA wins
the third convincingly. Only regret is
that it was Parnell on the other side.
Line 4 Robby Economides Dave McGuire 6-1,6-2 Angry Squirrels
Alejandro Torres Andrew McQuaid
Beastie Boys are playing good but
not that good. Wasn’t displeased with
this pairing when it was first drawn.
Surprised when I saw Andrew drinking fireball so early though. Thought this one would be closer. If they can control the net, the beastie boys
are tough to beat. One thing is for
sure, you cannot hit through them.
Probably should have told that to Alejandro before the match. I can picture the Squirrel smiling and I’m
not happy with the way this is playing out.
Line 5 Burt Dalton Chris Rabon 6-0,7-5 Kiss My Ace Deux
Doug Autin Kevin
Phayer
Captain Squirrel loses again but
team wins. Will be interesting to see if
he puts himself in the line up in the finale.
I mean, he’s one and nine for goodness sakes. If anyone deserves to be benched its Angry
Squirrel Kevin and Token Tyler. What
will he do? The Eager Ecuadorian with Bogalusa
Doug Burt keeps KMA’s title hopes alive.
11-2 could have been disastrous.
Total Points 4 9
Doing the quick math…. up four and
losing by five means Squirrels take over first place by one pending the results
of the last match. Doing a little more
digging and theorizing if the point totals for each round were consistent, I
see where this 4-9 loss would have been a 2-6 loss. Three-point swing for no other reason other
than to say its Round 5 in the Ego’s first year as commissioner. Happy Thanksgiving to the effingPhFair
Brothers. Common sense sometimes gets
thrown by the waste side.
9:30 Smash Brothers The Killers
Late match. Only question on the table is if Smash
Brothers gain enough points to honor the integrity of the league and play it
out in the last match of the year if they are out of contention. Another good reason to avoid increasing point
totals in one and only one round of play.
Bentleague Individual Team success to date is strongly tied to player availability. Top draft picks play more often so their
availability is key. Throw in a family
vacation or few hunting trips at the wrong time (during a double point round
for instance) and the magnitude of a player or two missing a match (or more) increases
exponentially. You don’t have to have a mathematics
minor to figure that out.
Line 1 Nick Thompson Shane McCarthy 6-2,6-3 Smash Brothers
Mark Fair Cayman
Sinclair
No Ed and No Kobrock. Timing couldn’t have been worse. Asking a lot from the Wolfman putting an 9th
rounder up top. Wondering why Captain Killer
didn’t insert himself here. Probably
would have still lost but something to ponder.
Assuming he was hoping for a split between one and two while
strengthening chances on bottom three lines.
Let’s see how that turned out.
Line 2 Blake Powers Ray
Brouillette 2-6,6-3,6-4 Smash
Brothers
Addison Melancon Donald Allen
This is where the plan
faltered. Addi and Blake are on a tear! Two W’s in a row cannot be discounted. Smash Captain finally getting results he
dreamed of on draft day for these two.
Interesting turn of events during this match. Youngin’s actually started playing “old man”
tennis better than the old men. Would not
have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. One Drop
lob combination after the other and it appeared as if Ray and Donald aged five
years right in front of us. Hats off to
the game plan and to the execution. Can
these two keep it up in the finale.
Line 3 Mesa Jay Blossman 4-6,6-4,6-3
The Killers
Billy Max Agnew
Had some web site mistakes. I believe Max and Jay beat Mesa and Billy in
three. Good win for Killers and glad to
see Max get a W after cutting his hair. Takes
longer to grow that to cut. How the eff
did I lose to Mesa and Billy? Eff me!
Line 4 Ferr Brad
Humphreys 6-2,6-1 The
Killers
Doc Ech Keith Krebs
Get that W Capt. Ferr and Doc Eck coming off a win on Thursday
cannot duplicate success. Surprised by
the 2 and 1 score though.
Line 5 Mitch Paul Guidotti 4-6,6-4,6-4 Smash Brothers
Keith West Gabe Perez
Gabe pulled out a line 5 win
previously but that was with a different Paul.
Gabe’s Mom cannot be impressed with line 5 defeats. Better hit the practice courts Son of
Ed. Is there any correlation to Gabe’s
defeats and Ed not being in the line up?
Good win for the 4th rounder.
This Keith West guy is a steal at 15.
Lane Est and Lampard, may have just increased your pre-draft rating from
a C- to a C+.
Total Points 9 4
Smash
Brothers with a 9 to 4 win. Moves within
7 of the lead. Just enough to avoid
dumping or is it. Time will tell who
suits up. There are points available for
the taking. Depending on who shows up
and who is available, the finale will be interesting. Also hoping the weather is favorable. First rain out day is Saturday so I’m
thinking Will should not miss another Saturday of work. There may be others in the same boat. Which has the Swami thinking… what if scoring
remained consistent. By that I mean…what
if all lines were treated equally and worth 1 point each. C’mon Swami…that preposterous. Take the Ego’s bullshit scoring system and
just duplicate it for round five. Its
stupid I know but at least all five rounds will be consistent. Mix in the singles rounds if you need
it. Just score them 22111 for fun.
Total Points
Current Version (Cockamamie Bullshit
Scoring, 3,3,2,2,2 Round 5 with Bonus and/or singles)
KMA 67
Smash Brothers 60
Angry
Squirrels 68
The Killers 61
Version 2 (Bullshit Scoring,
2,2,1,1,1 with Bonus and/or singles)
KMA 63
Smash Brothers 54
Angry Squirrels 61
The Killers 58
The Salutatorian has spoken! See above - If Round 5 would have been scored
the same as Rounds 1-4, KMA would have a two-point advantage on the Angry
Squirrels going into the final match. And
the Killers would only be four back. Smash
Brothers would be the only team out of the running. Numbers don’t lie Ego. Theory on keeping everyone in the title chase
doesn’t hold water. Only difference in Cockamamie
Bullshit Scoring and Bullshit Scoring is the order of 1-3. Swami stands by his analysis. The ombudsman welcomes your thoughts. Raising the stakes for only one round (the
final round) diminishes efforts and results for Rounds one through four. Plain and Simple. Now time to take a page from Al Davis and
Nelly and Just Win! Just Win! #2 is not
a winner and #3 Nobody remembers!!! Its still
there for the taking…and KMA ain’t scared.
Hope the weather cooperates…because if we have a rain out…I have a feeling
all hell will break out with availability, scoring, and make up matches.
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